Mosquito and Elephant

A Mosquito( Male ) and Elephant( Female ) both get married one day.
On the first night, Elephant brings milk for the mosquito.
Mosquito drinks the milk and passes away( dies ).


guess why ??



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No..

Mosquito dies because of AllOut :-)

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Ant and Elephant

Ant tells something in Elephant's ear...
Consequence : Elephant faints.

What did Ant say ???

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"Mein Tumhare bachche ki Maa banne waali hoon"

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How do you Convert a Cylinder to a Pizza

To Convert a Cylinder to a Pizza..

All you need to do is get a Cylinder of Radius 'z' and Height 'a'.

So volume of a cylinder = pi * r * r *h
= pi*z*z*a
= pizza

LHS = RHS
Hence Proved..


P.S.: This is a PJ....

Bill Gates

Bill Gates Died

Bill Gates passes away and goes up to heaven where he is met by God.

"Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure

whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped

society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet

you

created that ghastly Windows.

"I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you

decide where you want to go."

Bill replied, "Well thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "You take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you

decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"

"Sure" said Bill, "Let's go!"

Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear water. There

were thousands of beautiful men and women running around, playing in the

water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the

temperature was perfect.

"This is great!" said Bill. "If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven."

God replied, "Let's go!" and so off they went to Heaven. Bill saw puffy

white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing

harps and singing.

It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell.

Bill Gates though for only a brief moment and rendered his decision. "God,

I

do believe I would like to go to Hell."

"As you desire," said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see

how

things were going. He found Bill Gates shackled to a wall, screaming

amongst

the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How ya doing', Bill?" asked God.

Bill responded with anguish and despair, "This is awful! This not what I

expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women

playing

in the water?"

"Oh THAT?!" said God. "That was the Screen Saver

A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the

  operator twice.

  :-(

  Guess why ?

  because there it was written "Number dial karne se

  pehele do lagae"



  whats difference between a man jumping from 1st  floor and a man jumping  from
  10th floor? . . . . . . . . . . . . 



 former goes  (hit) aaaaaaaaa 


 later  goes  aaaaaaaaa (hit)



  a tamilian and a sardarji sittin together in a  train.
Tamilian is bored and  wants to talk, he asks sardar "tamil terima?"
  
  Sardar is offended and hits back "punjab tera baap"

U can study and get any certificates.. but u cannot get ur death
certificate

U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH

U can bcom an engineer if u study in Engineering college .. u cannot
bcom a president if u study in Presidency College

U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL
stop

A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot
bcom a software

U can find tea in tea cup.. but cannot find world in world cup

U can find keys in Key board but u cannot find mother in mother board

Taaake IT

Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2

cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have

anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?


















































Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat

will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other

cigarette another deadly answer. scroll down a little




































Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win

Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down
























Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee."

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".







































If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down































Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney
lagega"

what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz....
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

































who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
..........sita with ravan





























wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
…….Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya






























wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan



















an elephant falls in luv wid n ant.but Ant's parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k dat bahar hai**





























once sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
……kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..


















Full form of MATHS????
Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…

what wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina :)

Great PJs

Ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyan(6 fingers) hoti hain... sab log use "Hanuman" bulate hain... kyun???
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Ans:kyounki uska nam hanuman hota hai!

what is PJ???















phaltu joke..
what is P+iJ ???


















complex phaltu joke...
why dont we laugh on a it???


































coz the joke part is imaginary!!!
Whats the opposite of Real??































Its COCONUT....













Y....Socho...???















Becuase it is 'Na-Real'

i'll write a book an pjs and dedicate it to whom? our president....why
scroll down for answer
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coz he is mr. a.P.J.abdul kalam
what is the vector form of sridevi????
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ANS : - TABU!!!!
confused???? why????
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ok i'l tell you...
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. sridevi did chandni and tabu did chandni bar!!!!!
What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants to tell her to call
him up...?
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Ring De Basanti :))

A dentist was examining a patient having a highly contageous deadly disease....
As soon he opens the patients mouth the disease gets transferred to the doctor... how??
scroll


































...Because the patient had a bluetooth!!

wat is one word in english for kiye karaye par paani ferna??

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flush!!

three cockroaches were going on the road, suddenly one of them started singing the song -- AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE.
Few mins later, all the three cockroaches died......any idea why?????
COZ the song is HIT......

The Time Machine!!

I have a strong suspicion that our college, the NITK, has a Time Machine.. Yes, u read it right, a Time Machine!! Now, why do i say so?? Go check the placement website. A notice there says "PC's meeting summoned at 4:00 PM on 31/07/1984 in Mining Department, attendance is mandatory."

Deadliest PJ's Collection

Which song will a kid sing when he starts going to 1^st std.?
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KG kiya re, KG kiya re
Oh KG, KG kiya re….


>Proceed at your own risk...
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>Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.
>On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.
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>Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
>Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
>Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??
>Gulshan: No it is Grocer.
>
>
>Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
>scroll down for the ultimate PJ
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>Further,,,
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>Little further...
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>ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C

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And this is the latest one....
>enjoy....................
>
>) Smoking
>2) Drinking
>3) Charas
>4) Ganja
>5) Chicken
>6) Mutton
>7) Oily food
>8) Masala
>9) Sleep & obesity
>10) Pollution
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>
>= Heart Attack
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>means...
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>scrolll down
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>DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!


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What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???
>
>
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
>think
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>tired of thinking???
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>Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

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Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
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>okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"
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>_____________________________ ____________________ ______________________
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>Acha last one...............
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>ok whats the opp of venky's..
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>venlocks...
>(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)
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_____________________________ ____________________ ______________________

>What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
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>Subramanium Didn't See Me.
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>How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
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>Ready....Steady.....PO

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A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead.
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>"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
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>The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
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>"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
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>The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss.
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>By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD
>YOU >TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!
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>WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
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>"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."

_____________________________ ____________________ ______________________

A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a
>bath, >but he hasn't got a soap and there is no water anywhere
around...
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>what can he do?
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>->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c (constant of
>integration)
>Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c'.
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>_____________________________ ____________________ ______________________

>one day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile >his call gets
cross connected to some other lady.They still keep on >talking..they
start liking each other..and finally they get married
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>what MORAL do u get???
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>..
>..
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>An IDEA can change your wife.

_____________________________ ____________________ ______________________

>A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.
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>:-(
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>Guess why ?
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>

>
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>because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"



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if a CAT crosses ur way , when u are going some where , then what does it mean???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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it means that the Cat is also going somewhere

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rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi........................................

sonia gandhi --> kyun beta????????????????

rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do

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BRUCE LEE was a great man

But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...

why?

Because he became

MAMU LEE!
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santa and banta r discussing---------

santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"

Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."

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One day Ravan went to a disco.........................

aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya...................
kyun???????????????????

kyun??????????????

bcoz it was written on the gate than "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"

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who make Ganesh to Anesh...????

ThinK......

Think......

okay....

" KAILASH KHER "

tere naam se " G " loon....

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Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To

naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.

Kyon??????

Think............

Give up??

Coz...

"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango."
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One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him Ramayana.
Donald duck is impressed and starts reading verses from Ramayana.
Mickey Mouse continues to listen .
After completing the whole Ramayan, Donald Duck lets out a
Big sigh
and asks Mickey Mouse, "Mickey Mouse, tell me...who was the father of
Lord Ram?
"Mickey Mouse cannot. Angry, Donald duck, again asks, " Mickey
Mouse!!!
Tell me...which was the capital of Ram's kingdom!
"Mickey Mouse cannot answer again.
Infuriated, Donald Duck kicks Mickey Mouse hard, and Mickey Mouse
Goes and collides with a wall. As soon as he collides with the wall, he gets
up
and starts saying verses of Ramayana from start to end...






How did this happen???







Think .... Think .... Think .... Think ....

After hitting the wall, Mickey becomes Wall-Mickey (Valmiki) .

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Ok next one………..

JISKA EK BI DOST NAI USKO KYA BOLTE???
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"koena mitra" (koi-na-mitra)

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Once rani mukharjee was given punishment 2 eat 1000 chewingums.
she was scared bt den suddenly saif ali khan said sumtin in her ears n she started eatin how???
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coz saif said"chak de chak de,chakde sare GUM,chakde chakde chakde,tere sung hai hum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Suppose ek ladki baarish me bheeg rahi hai to tum use pani se kaise bachaoge?
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..simple hai yaar...use apna dil dedo...dil CHAHTA(umbrella) hai!!!"

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Ek calculator dusre calci ko kya bola?
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.."CASIO???"...(kaisi-ho?)


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WHOS DA ONLY PLAYER WHO KNOS EACH N EVRY RELIGIOUS SONG?

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HAR-BHAJAN-SINGH

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Agar aap 90 baar paap karoge to keval 45 baar hi pakde jaoge......batao kyu????

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because....

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sin 90=cot 45
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Q: why are dogs afraid to look good?

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A: because hot ones are eaten up.

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why is 45 degree always blushing
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cause ppl call it a-cute angle
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Why did the boy disconnect the calling-bell in his house?
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A)Because he wanted to win the No-Bell Prize.

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Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas? ..
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Because oct31=dec25.

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Kick Synchronization

conversation between A and B.
Note :- A and B are computer geeks.

A : Today i got badly hurt. Look at this wound.(shows his damaged feet)

B : omg !! How did this happen ?

A : Today is Mike's birthday. So, we all gave him GPL , during which me and Kalu both tried to kick Mike's butt simultaneously and we kicked each other's feet.

B : Oh!! Very sad...
Well, you could have avoided this disaster.
You ppl could have Synchronized your kicks no?? By applying locks to Mike's butt.


P.S :- Operating System geeks can enjoy this one in a better way. :)
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BinarySearch

Let's start with a Tech PJ


"I binary searched for my handkerchief but i didn't find it
but when i linear searched for it, i found it"


Guess why ?
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scroll a bit




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Because "the things in my room weren't sorted".


p.s : - you will understand this, if you are aware of any programming language.
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